at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
