He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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