Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
