Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
