a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
