i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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