shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
