Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is Oprah even human
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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