...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
