imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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