So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
