You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize