How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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