Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize