But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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