DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
