Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
