yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
