i don't plan on having that self control this summer
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
