she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
