More tranny stories later!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
