smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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