Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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