So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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