There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sorry my hands just texted you
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
