Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
