I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
