Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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