i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
