True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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