she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
