I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hippo gnu deer
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
