Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
