idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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