We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
