Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
