You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
