we're blogging at a bar
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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