Whod you bang
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Boobs are out for the taking
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
