I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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