ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
