So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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