I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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