They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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