real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize