Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
