At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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