She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
