i would punch a child for taco bell
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
