New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
