it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
