Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
