i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
