I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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