this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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