Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
