You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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