I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
