I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
