Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
