what day is it and did you see me today?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
