I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize