dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
