I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
