i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
