I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
