She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize