fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
