my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
