Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Come share oat with me in your robe
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
