A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm at about main and main street
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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