whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize