my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
