Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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