Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
