you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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